She Won't Look Back
by my-hero-mizzy
Summary: If it was strength, she had it. If it was courage, she had it. If it was stamina, she had it. He changed her.


He was coming at with strong hands. Hand after hand, fist after fist she took the beating that he drove into her face. She tried to fight back until he slammed her arms above her head and continued to beat her with his free hand. His face was no longer visible as her swollen eyes began to close as the nausea built up within her and her head began to swim. She was tired, tired of fighting and tired of hanging on.

Everything was dark but her other senses were on high alert. The moment she heard the zipper she knew was coming. She tried to scream but his large hand that held hers in place was now covering her mouth as used what little power she had left to make enough noise to be heard.

She could barely breathe as he moved his other hand to cover her throat as he plowed into her sexually. She was dizzy and her head was spinning but the King blood in her told her muster up the fight and the courage that she had left. Her face was bloody and bruised but she sank her teeth into his hand and screamed at the top of her lungs when he removed his hand for that split second.

"You little, Bitch." He swore.

But it was enough. Just enough.

"Char. Char." She was being shaken again but she wasn't being held down. Scrambling she rolled over and found falling onto the floor next to the bed. Cooper was by her side in second, trying to get her to come out of current state of mind. "Char, sweetie. It's okay. You're safe. I've got you."

He didn't dare to touch her, not yet. She hadn't had a nightmare this bad in a while. They had been few and far between lately but when she did, he was ready; he had to be after everything that happened.

She sat still against the edge of the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. The constant ringing in her ears didn't stop. It was like a siren going on and on unmercifully as her head pounded at the same tempo. Her pulse was out of control as the adrenaline surged through her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered almost out of breath.

"Don't be sorry, Char. This isn't your fault." He took her words as a sign that it was okay for her to be touched. He cupped her cheek and lifted it gently so her gaze met his. "This isn't your doing. It's his. Don't for one second blame yourself."

"I thought they were gone and I finally beat 'em. "

"It happens. From time to time, it will happen."

There was a rustle behind them. She heard it first since she was still wired from her dream. "No-"She dropped her head to her knees to keep from showing her tears. She could keep herself from bawling but the silent tear lines still coated her face. This couldn't be happening. Her son couldn't see her weak. It was bad enough Cooper had to see her like this.

"Is Momma okay?" Mason asked as he looked into their room.

"She's fine, Mase. Why don't you go on back to bed? I'll be back in a few minutes."

"But dad-"

"Go on, Mase." She felt his hand running up and down her arm. "You doin' alright?"

"Is he gone?"

"He's gone. Just spooked him"

"You gonna go see to him?"

"Do you want me to? He can wait a few minutes. Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, Coop. Go see our boy." He wiped the remaining traces of tears from her eyes and pulled her in.

"God, I love you, Char, so much."

"I know, Coop. Mase is probably scared out of his mind right now. Go on and tend to 'im, I'll be fine."

She was still unsettled and wasn't quite ready to go back to bed but not quite ready to move from her spot on the floor. The images were still on replay in the back of her mind and the taste of his hand coated her tongue even though it had been nearly two years since the attack.

She wouldn't sleep tonight of that she was certain, she might close her eyes but she wouldn't sleep. She wouldn't, couldn't let herself go there. It wasn't worth the risk.

The muffled sounds of her husband and son talking in the next room helped settle her nerves some as she listened to the tones of their voices. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying but she supposed it was better that way. She didn't want to know the reason Cooper was giving Mason for her looking like a mess on their bedroom floor.

He was scared but so was she. And she had every right to be. What happened to her was a scary thing for anyone. She couldn't imagine trying to explain to him what happened and it wasn't something that he needed to know. She wouldn't go there not now and not soon. He might be witty and smart and even mature for his age, but no child no matter how mature they seem to be should hear those stories. Hell, she didn't even want to hear other stories.

Cooper was right. They will happen from time to time and she will fight and she will fight hard. She pushed herself then and she can push herself now. She got to her feet, wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and made her way towards her son's room. If it was strength, she had it. If it was courage, she had it. If it was stamina, she had it. He changed her. They both did. All three of them did, in more ways than one. She wouldn't look back. She couldn't promise that nights like tonight wouldn't happen again but be all damned if she ever looked back.


End file.
